WINTER IS COMING TO CHICAGO AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE
...and this is why you shouldn't worry:
1. We die, no more bullshit with the Ventra card.
2. We die, it's possible we all turn into zombies, who are gonna end up winning the war of the apocalypse and we all know it so GET ON THE WINNING SIDE NOW.
3. We die, no more worrying about balancing your checkbook, which you haven't been doing anyway, have you, you've just been trusting the bank when they give you your balance, haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU?
4. We die, desperation takes its rightful place at the top of Maslow's Hierarchy.
5. We die, FUCK YOU, WINTER, WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!