I Had To Look Up "Meme"

So what, okay? Some words escape me . . .

I have been tagged by Megan to fill out this "meme," which is apparently a "word" since Webster's has it listed as one, but still, are we really going to believe Webster's? Aren't they in cahoots with some secret cult that is surreptitiously splitting infinitives and dangling modifiers? This same cult may also be advocating the use of the collective when referring to a single human. I mean, who would write about themselves in the collective? That's so cheesy. It's like, get some friends, m'kay? Team Power Love does not advocate the use of the collective to refer to a single human.

1) One book that changed your life: Into the Dream this freaky ESP book (I was really into ESP when I was little)(ESP exists, just like ghosts)(and magic) that turns out being about this massive conspiracy/psychological experiment and it really creeped me out but made me realize I too could write about really creepy shit; every single Judy Blume book written inlcuding Wifey, which I made a paper bag book cover for since it was so racy (page one: guy jerking off in the suburbs)(whoa!); The Scarlet Letter, yes, The Scarlet Letter because OHMYGOD SHE SLEPT WITH A PRIEST and GOT BUSTED FOR IT (this was big for me in high school)(that priest was a fucker)(literally and figuratively); every issue of Story magazine; The Blind Assasin; Oryx and Crake; oh, wait one book.

2) One book that you’d read more than once: The Great Gatsby. The Great Gatsby. Bonus question: Literary character you would sleep with: Jay Gatsby.

3) One book you’d want on a deserted island: How to Get Off A Deserted Island.

4) One book that made you laugh: As I Lay Dying. It's funny, people. It is.

5) One book that made you cry: The Butcher Boy. Cruddy.

6) One book you wish you’d written: I Made One Bazillion Dollars and Now I Own Europe by Her Majesty, Kim Morris

7) One book you wish had never been written: The Bible. All I'm saying is, what would the world be like if it hadn't been written?

8) One book you’re currently reading: One Good Turn by Kate Atkinson. Best Amurican Short Stories of 2006. What's with all the "one" book stuff? Am I the only one with piles of books lining my bedroom?

9) One book you’ve been meaning to read: One of those classics that everyone always refers to when they're quoting real honest to god literature or lecturing about literary criticism and they say things like, "As Proust said in blah blah blah . . . " and I always think, "A ha! I should read that. Then I'll get smert." But I don't read those books because the people who do read them usually follow up with comments like, "The Christ imagery in blah blah blah" and then I tune out because who gives a fuck.

So not only do I not remember the titles of books I've been meaning to read, I don't really want to read the books I've been meaning to read.

10) Tag five people: Geez. I have to expand my blogospheric circle of friends. Well, I'm going to tag Josh, even though Byron by all rights should be the tagger of Josh, and I mean that platonically and politely; Margaret; Mr. B.; and Jeff, because maybe if he gets tagged twice he'll really do it. Oh, I also would like to tag those hopheads over at Lost Blueprint.