Power Love

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26 September 2007


Oops, almost wrote, "A Pubic Flea."

Daily, I take a few pills that cause me to bruise easily, which is saying something, because without the pills, I bruise easily, but, shit, you should see these pill-induced bruises, awesome. Kinda like angry waves in the ocean, but with a bit more purple. On the upside, I'm bionic! Which is good, because this is how I'm gonna win the 100 meters in the next Olympics, whose trials are sometime soon, and in Asia, so I think I will just run over there, knock it out, and run back to Chicago, where I have much work to do, specifically writing my thesis: Uncanny Circumstances in Zombie Musicals and the Play of Children, wherein I describe the increasing and, frankly, frightening preponderance of meatballs in non-spaghetti items. Spaghetti, by the way, is not from the Serengeti, as you might suppose. It's from Brooklyn.

But I was talking about bruises, which I have many of, because my furniture insists on jumping in front of me, arbitrarily, as though it doesn't have anything better to do, though I know it does, I put things on it, someone has to hold up the piles, but I suppose I should occassionally turn on the lights, which are illuminating, and then I'd be able to see the vicious moves of the malicious furniture, but if I did that, then I wouldn't have the name of my new, new wave band: Vicious Malicious, in which I wear an A-line dress with yellow tulips on it, go-go girl boots, and a cowboy hat. There will be a screen behind Vicious Malicisou that will broadcast all my films, specifically my thesis film: Uncanny Circumstances in Gothic Novels and the Play of Dolphins, wherein Soundgarden plays uncontrollably dense classical music, possibly covers of Beethoven, but sometimes you can never really tell with Soundgarden. Especially now, since they no longer exist.

Ninethly, Vicious Malicious will break up in 2.3 years. I know this because I have recently become certified in 8-ball reading, and this is a skill that will far surpass typing in terms of Skills Upon Which I Can Depend If I Lose My Current Job. Although, it's hardly likely that I will lose my current job. There's not such a backlog of humans who desire nose picking as a career and really, I am the best ever, and I'm being modest when I say that. I have references, I'll be happy to send those to you if you doubt me.

But I was talking about dolphins, which means, I need to find go-go girl boots before October 31, or all of music history will be destroyed and crumbled into little bits of charred bone for Vicious Malicious will not be able to proceed into geniusness and this means THE WHOLE WORLD WILL WITHER AND DIE, so I certainly hope if you, or anyone you know, knows where I can buy white, knee-high, low-heeled boots in a size 7, that you will tell me and save the world.

Thank you.