Here's what I'd tell you if I had the guts:
I'm sorry for the cruel things I said to you.
If you would let me stand next to you, I'd breathe you in and hold your hand.
I would caress your face and kiss your eyelids.
I would trace my fingertips across your lips.
I would wrap peaceful quiet in a velvet box and leave it for you on your windowsill.
I would stand outside your window and hope.