Power Love

Your definitive resource. That's all, just your definitive resource.

21 April 2007

Dear Flower,
Thank you for growing. It gives me hope. It makes me think of an inevitable tomorrow, where you will be taller and brighter. For, is a flower truly a flower if it does not grow? Well, I suppose a pressed flower does not grow. Although, perhaps that is a morbid thought to you, flower. Perhaps a bit traumatizingly morbid.

I'm not quite sure how I would react if you were talking about pressed humans. I mean, if you had your flower friends over for a flower dinner and the carnation looked up and said, "Oh! What a lovely pressed human!" and then the rose looked and said, "Yes! The colors look great with your walls." And you said, "Oh, thank you. I simply picked that human out of a bunch, pressed it between the pages of The Collected Works of Shakespeare, and hung it. Very simple."

And then maybe at this point you would quote some lines of Ophelia's because maybe you would want to show your range, your inimitable ability to capture both sadness and madness, because maybe the carnation and the rose are not only friends, but also Hollywood casting agents, and maybe you have stardust in your eyes and big dreams of famosity.

Well, I can tell you, hanging pressed humans on the wall is not cool, flower. IT IS NOT COOL AT ALL. I will take a stand against this, you sun-loving petal pusher. I will harness the power of a free-thinking society to thwart you in your plans of blood lust and fury!

And this is how I will become the next president of the United States of America.