AS THE CHAIN RUSTS


Location: Brookfield Zoo

Elite-level racing knows no bounds when it comes to recruitment. In today's episode of As the Chain Rusts, we find our lovable racers trying to recruit new racers to The Team.

This is a PR pic of The Team--we're gearing up for a talk on the importance of proper nutrition.

In a fit of hyperbolic inspiration, The Team decided that snow leopards would make for great teammates. Snow leopards, as every serious cyclist knows, love the cyclery sports. It's the hand-paw coordination thing--it's thrilling to a snow leopard. Anyway, snow leopards live at Brookfield Zoo, so we went over to ask if the snow leopards would be interested in racing with us this year.

The dolphins tried to audition for us. No shame, those dolphins. They were kinda flirty, if you must know. It was embarrassing.

But we can't accept dolphins on The Team. This is because all racers are obligated to wear helmets and as every serious cyclist knows, dolphins hate head gear.

A flurry of phone calls to agents. Snow leopards don't talk to just anyone, you know.

Gary makes a last ditch phone call that saves the day.

So now we have snow leopards on the team, but frankly, they're a bit standoffish. They refuse to pose for pictures, which is weird.