Droppin' the Hi Bomb

Recently, Team Power Love went for a Training Ride in order to prepare for a Really Important Race. In addition to perfecting our already finely honed tactical skills, we also practiced the fine art of dropping hi bombs.

As every serious cyclist knows, a truly successful training ride is determined not by watts generated, speed sped up to, cadence carried, crashes not committed, or gu consumed. A successful training ride is defined by the number of responses to one's crisp and decisive greeting of: "Hi!"

We do not mean "hi," as in the drawn out, southern accent, lazy-afternoon-sipping-lemonade sense. We mean "Hi!" as in the first syllable one yelps when delivering a karate chop to the groin.

On this particular day this summer, Team Power Love had already collected five (5) responses to our hi bombs (ranging in recognition from the too-cool-for-you head nod to the I-see-you-but-think-you're-weird finger point to the all-inclusive-I-smoke-pot-wave-like-you're-flagging- down-a-plane wave) and we were on the prowl for the elusive sixth response.

As we are huge fans of the cliched simile, let us say that we saw, like a mirage in the desert, a woman with gardening sheers dutifully cutting some sort of greenery that appeared to be choking her mailbox. The mailbox was mere inches from the road where Team Power Love would be riding, so we prepared ourselves for a hi bombing of great magnitude.

The barage of "Hi!"s was coordinated and fierce, unnerving the woman who promptly released her gardening sheers, which went spiraling downward to the ground, which was unfortunate as the spot they were destined for just so happened to be the exact spot occupied by her foot.

Blood gushed, yelps unleashed. Team Power Love said, "Wow. Who knew blood could gush like a fountain?" And, "I don't think that's gonna clot anytime soon." Comments that were insightful, yes, but not particularly helpful.

One Team Power Love team member did have the wherewithal to use a cell phone to call for help, and upon hearing the operator say, "9-1-1," Team Power Love member said, "Hi!" and the operator said, "Hi!" and Team Power Love thus collected the all-important sixth hi bomb response and concluded yet another successful training ride.