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21 August 2006


Downers Grove--Professional men's cycling suffered a debilitating blow Sunday when members of various teams plowed over super fan Kim Morris after Morris snapped the artistic photograph, shown here.

The peloton, moving at 84 mph, did not have time or interest in stopping to see what was later described as "that slight bump after turn 8 on lap 4."

Morris is recovering in the northwest corner of her beloved cubicle farm. Doctors say she is in stable condition and will return to her normal state of dull haze any day now. "She was having a bad hair day anyway," a friend reported.

The victim was found wandering around the race course after the incident, allegedly mumbling, "But I'm trying to figure out how Adam moves around in the field." Spectators alerted medical personnel, who quickly whisked Morris to the nearest hospital, fearing head trauma. Officials for USA Cycling had no comment on the incident.