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Today's List: Overheard Conversations

This guy on the el, yelling into his phone, his voice is getting progressively loud, and he's getting progressively angry, goes, "I'm going to go get my own body bag and make my life simpler!" And I wonder to myself, "Is 'simpler' a word?" and I'm kinda pissed I don't have a dictionary with me so I can check that.

These teenagers, or maybe 20-agers, or whatever age it is when humans gather in huge groups and all talk at once and use the word "like" more than any other word and yell really loud as though a conversation is supposed to be broadcast like a tornado warning, end up talking about a party and one of them goes, "A four-pack of Seagram's! And we can smoke!" and the rest of them go, "Like, cool!"

Two women at the coffeehouse talking about a mutual friend who's just signed up at e-Harmony and the friend spent TWO HOURS filling out her profile and though the friend is not willing to relocate, she is willing to date guys from other cities and they wonder, "How will that work? What if some guy wants her to move?" "I know," says the other woman, "and after all that talk she gave us about how we should stay in Chicago because it's so cheap to live here." "Sheesh," says the first woman.