An Army of Water Bottles

Let's say you were looking to join a sport. Let's say you chose cycling. You would need water bottles if you were a cyclist, because apparently hydration is a positive thing. So, you would end up collecting an inordinate amount of water bottles (you are very healthy, you are very hydrated). But you would realize, after a while, that there is nothing worse in the world than cleaning these water bottles. So, you will buy more to avoid the inevitable cleaning. But then they will take over your sink. Then your kitchen. Before you know it, the water bottles will take over your entire apartment. They will squeeze you out into the street where you will long for the warmth of radiators and lazy Sunday afternoons on the couch where you once reread Margaret Atwood novels and stared out the window at skinny leafless trees. You will wonder why you ever bought so many water bottles in the first place when all you really needed to do was suck it up and wash them and then you will learn a lesson your mom has been trying to teach you all your life: the way you treat others says a lot about who you are.