THE MEAT PALACE
Did you know there are hotels made entirely of ice? They're called ice hotels. Yes. There's one in Sweden and another in Quebec. I know this because I did a little research on ice hotels and I found out some interesting facts, including: The hotel bar in the Sweden ice hotel is made of ice (the actual bar is actually made of ice) and they serve Absolut in ice glasses, which are glasses made of ice. I do not know if you need ice cubes in your ice glasses.
Another fact: Ice hotels have front desks made of ice, called ice desks. And there is also furniture made of ice, called ice furniture. Besides possessing an enviable flair for apt nomenclature, ice hotels are also cold. Usually in the low 20-degree Fahrenheit neighborhood, and in this way, your accommodations don't melt.
This is all very useful information because as a Chicagoan in Chicago in the dead of winter, there is nothing more intriguing than reading about cold things. As alert Power Love readers know, however, winter in Chicago only lasts 10 of 12 months every year and those other 2 months are like a sauna and so, if you were bitten by the entrepreneurial spirit like I am on a daily basis, you would probably say to yourself: "Self, I have just been bitten by an idea. Or possibly a spider. In the event the spider was not a raging pusball of germed out disease, I should open my own hotel here in Chicago, but instead of an ice hotel, I should open a salami hotel."
Well, I can see where you're going with this, sisters and brothers of Idealand, and I am with you. A salami hotel would serve the people of our fair city well--you could have a salami front desk, a salami couch in the salami lobby, salami glasses holding salami martinis in the salami bar. The possibilities are endless. You might also consider sesame crackers and blocks of cheese to scatter about because salami eaters can eat and you don't want to be the one to tell them there's no cheese. Trust me on this one.
If you, like me, have a potpourri of vegantastic pals, you could also construct a tofu hotel. These might not hold up too well, though, as tofu needs to be drained. Make sure you do your homework before hiring a tofu hotel contractor.
In conclusion, the idea of salami hotels is just one of the millions of fascinating ideas that will come to me during this period that many call "winter," but which I prefer to call, The Season of the Voices in My Head and How I Befriend Them.