HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOU'RE REALLY TOO TIRED TO RIDE YOUR BIKE
1. When you go to take a drink from your water bottle, the one with Gatorade in it, instead of squirting it in your mouth, you end up soaking your right arm instead, which is awesome because Gatorade is really sugary and attracts bees.
2. Instead of freaking out about the swarm of bees around your recently-Gatoraded arm, you are instead amazed at the bees' ability to maintain a 28 mph pace with you.
3. You're delusional to the point where you think you're actually maintaining a 28 mph pace.
4. When you see a green light at the next intersection, you put a voodoo hex on all green lights, even the metaphorical ones.
5. You mistake the pancake-flat road in front of you for a mountain and you curse your team for not being there to pull you up it, until you realize there is no team and you blame this on the Federal Reserve because if they would've just done something earlier about this current recession, you'd have a team to protect you as you climbed this massive mountain.