BIKE CAMP, DAY 2

If you take out a map and you look at Amurca and then you look just to the left of Amurca, you will see a large blue area. This is called, "The Pacific Ocean." It's very large and it's very blue and it contains "surfers." Surfers are dudes who wear essentially what cyclers wear, except longer and wetter--body suits of lycra, if you will. "Surfers" also carry around long, shark-finned things called "surfboards." These hurt when they smack you in the head, so don't walk into them.

This dude works at the gas station in Rancho Palisades Ojo Riojo. Maybe that's not really the name of the town, but it's pretty close to the name of every town around here. When we rode in to the parking lot (looking for a restroom), he said, "Hey. Great Cannondale." And I said, "I know, right?" And he said, "I love Cannondale. Great bikes." And obviously, this is a Top Quality Human Who Knows Top Quality Bicycles.

This is a '31 Ford. It has a 451 carburator curbinator engine with 556 horses of power. Also, it's made of plastic.

USE YOUR DAMN QUIET VOICE! NOW!!

Hmm...what to do after a lollygag of a bicycle ride? How about HOT TUB!! How about WALKING OVER TO THE HOT TUB IN SHORTS AND FLIP FLOPS!! How about HOT SHITTHISISSOAWESOMEICAN'TBELIEVEHOWLUCKYIAM.

The Pacific Ocean.

It's the Pacific Ocean, people. THE PACIFIC OCEAN.