Did you ever play paper dolls? You get this cardboard cutout of a woman and then you get all these stickers of outfits and you can mix and match the clothes to make one bazillion outfits and there are blazers and skirts and pants and SHOES and even earrings, although if you were anything like me, you promptly lost the earrings because teeny tiny cutouts of earrings are like the last thing an impatient 6-year old should get hold of, but anyway, somewhere in the house I grew up in, there is a stack of missing cutout earrings for my paper dolls and let me tell you, my paper dolls never let me forget it. One cannot be a proper paper doll and do proper paper doll life activities without earrings. My paper dolls wore some killer outfits, too, so they needed earrings. I remember I had friends who were like, “My paper doll is named Jenny and she’s gonna pet puppies.” And others who were like, “My paper doll’s name is Samantha and she’s gonna grow flowers in her backyard.” And I was like, “My paper doll’s name is Kim, AND SHE’S GONNA BE THE BOSS.”
You can see how earrings would come in handy, considering my paper doll’s future.
Anyhoodle, as it turns out, I had to give up the paper dolls because apparently, when you arrive in your 20s, you are not supposed to play dress up, play with Barbie, or play with paper dolls. So I resorted to dressing up myself and drinking. But lo! I HAVE FOUND SALVATION!
It’s Polyvore.com. You know what you can do at Polyvore.com? YOU CAN MAKE UP OUTFITS. There don’t seem to be any paper doll bodies, but who cares when there are CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES! Good god, who’s the genius? It’s like, there are a select few things in life that prove genius exists: Levi’s for men, chocolate covered strawberries, fried Snickers, and now MAKING UP OUTFITS ON THE INTERWEBNETS. I will never be the same. Get me some vodka.