Power Love

Your definitive resource. That's all, just your definitive resource.

30 August 2006

Fresh fiction posted on Cracked Black Pepper.
Read fiction. It's like vitamin C for your imagination.

28 August 2006

Be in a gooder mood.

25 August 2006

Stan and the girls. Kinda like Charlie and his Angels, but without the feathered hair, bell bottoms, and running around town in heels.

24 August 2006

Droppin' the Hi Bomb

Recently, Team Power Love went for a Training Ride in order to prepare for a Really Important Race. In addition to perfecting our already finely honed tactical skills, we also practiced the fine art of dropping hi bombs.

As every serious cyclist knows, a truly successful training ride is determined not by watts generated, speed sped up to, cadence carried, crashes not committed, or gu consumed. A successful training ride is defined by the number of responses to one's crisp and decisive greeting of: "Hi!"

We do not mean "hi," as in the drawn out, southern accent, lazy-afternoon-sipping-lemonade sense. We mean "Hi!" as in the first syllable one yelps when delivering a karate chop to the groin.

On this particular day this summer, Team Power Love had already collected five (5) responses to our hi bombs (ranging in recognition from the too-cool-for-you head nod to the I-see-you-but-think-you're-weird finger point to the all-inclusive-I-smoke-pot-wave-like-you're-flagging- down-a-plane wave) and we were on the prowl for the elusive sixth response.

As we are huge fans of the cliched simile, let us say that we saw, like a mirage in the desert, a woman with gardening sheers dutifully cutting some sort of greenery that appeared to be choking her mailbox. The mailbox was mere inches from the road where Team Power Love would be riding, so we prepared ourselves for a hi bombing of great magnitude.

The barage of "Hi!"s was coordinated and fierce, unnerving the woman who promptly released her gardening sheers, which went spiraling downward to the ground, which was unfortunate as the spot they were destined for just so happened to be the exact spot occupied by her foot.

Blood gushed, yelps unleashed. Team Power Love said, "Wow. Who knew blood could gush like a fountain?" And, "I don't think that's gonna clot anytime soon." Comments that were insightful, yes, but not particularly helpful.

One Team Power Love team member did have the wherewithal to use a cell phone to call for help, and upon hearing the operator say, "9-1-1," Team Power Love member said, "Hi!" and the operator said, "Hi!" and Team Power Love thus collected the all-important sixth hi bomb response and concluded yet another successful training ride.

23 August 2006

Just be in a good mood.

21 August 2006


Downers Grove--Professional men's cycling suffered a debilitating blow Sunday when members of various teams plowed over super fan Kim Morris after Morris snapped the artistic photograph, shown here.

The peloton, moving at 84 mph, did not have time or interest in stopping to see what was later described as "that slight bump after turn 8 on lap 4."

Morris is recovering in the northwest corner of her beloved cubicle farm. Doctors say she is in stable condition and will return to her normal state of dull haze any day now. "She was having a bad hair day anyway," a friend reported.

The victim was found wandering around the race course after the incident, allegedly mumbling, "But I'm trying to figure out how Adam moves around in the field." Spectators alerted medical personnel, who quickly whisked Morris to the nearest hospital, fearing head trauma. Officials for USA Cycling had no comment on the incident.

16 August 2006

Dear Chicago,
I love you. Will you marry me?

15 August 2006

Race Report: Elk Grove Village, IL

These are the leggy pros. Prize purse was huge for their race--a free leg waxing and a "Dopers Suck" t-shirt. As you may guess, the final sprint was a scorcher.

In other news, the women's 3/4 race was renamed, "How Not To Hold Your Line" and was reclassified as a "clinic." The instructors were from a local team, that is not Apache, who showed the field how to grab a water bottle while wobbling all over the road. Another item on the agenda: how to move around the pack without looking and therefore causing a rippling, scattering effect, much like lightning striking water.

For my part, I taught the field how to enjoy a comedy of errors by performing my patented attack-but-not-really move, which I have perfected in countless group rides. As a result of this fine but poorly-timed performance, I ended up mid-field in the end, grousing about like a hyperventilating pig.

Cheers to Pascale "This Isn't Our Race" Petro, who proved definitively that yes, it was her race. Seventh place puts you in the money and respect. Rightly so, friend.

11 August 2006

What Are We, Chopped Liver?

Big huge bike race in Elk Grove this weekend. Lots of leggy pro racers.

The women's 3/4 race is Sunday and it is a whopping 20 minutes long. The children's big wheel race is 40 minutes long. There is a message in there someplace.

Here is my sweet ride for the race:

Here is what I will be wearing:

(The high-heeled boots are clipless. Thank you, Shimano.)

10 August 2006

Well, hi to you, friendly, wacky denizen of the Loop.

05 August 2006


GRAYSLAKE, IL--In a stunning display of tactical brilliance and gutsy fortitude, Pascale Petro (Team Apache) won the women's masters/4 race today in a drag race, photo finish sprint.

Petro, who was accompanied by her nine-year old really cool daughter (both seen left), took the field by surprise by rocketing into jet plane mode well before the assumed last corner. While watching the bold move from the field, Petro's teammate, Kim Morris (Team Apache), said, "Wow!"

After officials viewed the finish on the monitor 3,245 times, solicited racers for opinions, and sent away for the free prize in the Cracker Jack box, it was determined that indeed Petro was the winner of the race, beating out amazing sprinter Wendy Something (Colavita-Sutter Home).

When asked about her amazing performance, Petro was humble and gracious, thanking everyone for their well wishes.

When asked why she didn't sweep her teammate's wheel and thereby decrease the chances of her teammate having to work so incredibly hard to take the win, Morris replied, "I like drama."

Team Apache will be well represented at the Tuesday night criterium series in Matteson, Illinois, this Tuesday, where the prize purse totals a whopping three empty Gatorade bottles.

03 August 2006

Yes, Virginia, there is good in the world . . .