Power Love

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27 February 2007

Last Night, She Said

What to do the last night at the dude ranch?

Eat at Rosa's. This pic isn't Rosa's, but Rosa's has the same color scheme. Also, the same beer selection.

Here's what good humans look like:

John--you should drink beer with him and laugh. Your life will be way better if you do.

On the left, John. He will tell you when you are climbing in a too big gear and he won't make you feel like an idiot when you do. Also, he will make you laugh. Also, he can juggle while bike riding.

On the right, Steve. In the dictionary, under "high quality human," there's a picture of Steve. If you get to share time with him, you are way lucky. You should not forget this.

Peace out, beautiful humans.

26 February 2007

Oh no! It's so sad! Team Power Love had to hang out in Tucson because the weather in Chicago sucked so much ass planes wouldn't fly there. Oh no!

Well, what to do? What to do? We have compiled a list in case you ever find yourself in this situation. We are a fully functional travelblog.


Hang out with these guys. When they give you the finger, that means, "We are so glad you ended up staying longer. We love Chicagoans."


Go to the sing-a-long of "Purple Rain." Yes! This is not a joke! We watched Purple Rain, the movie that changed lives in the 80s, and sang along to every song! In a real movie theater! It was so great, it demands exclamation marks while talking about it! God! Prince! Purple Rain!


Go riding with the dudes. Three of these guys are wearing the exact same outfit. If this were a dinner party, that would be so embarrassing.


Discuss your agenda for the day:
"What should we do today?"
"I think we should sit in the sun in 70 degree weather."
"Well, that seems difficult, but, well, okay."


John juggles while riding a bicycle. I'm gonna learn how to do this and run away and join the circus once I do.

24 February 2007

Dude Camp, Day Five
Rest Day

Today Team Power Love took a rest. A rest day is different from a recovery day in that, on a recovery day, you ride your bike and talk the whole time. On a rest day, you go no where near your bike and you walk around town in regular clothes and, if you are a girl, no one mistakes you for a boy. It's lovely. You also get to eat solid foods and spend hours internetting at a campus coffeehouse where students are contemplating ethical philosophical dilemmas for Law Class and hungover dudes in frat letters keep saying, "Doooode, that party was so rad." The future generations. Awesome.

Since it's rest day, we are not going to be able to present you, dear reader, with dude pics. The dudes are currently climbing some sort of earthly terrain that was never meant to be climbed by humans on bicycles (do you think god ever said, "Hey! I know! We'll stick this mountain range here, at a 10% grade, so when the humans finally evolve into bike racers, they'll have an opportunity to train."?)(I think no.)(Although the assumption that evolution ends in a bike racer makes absolute sense.) Anyway, here's a Tucsonian field.

Here's a Mexican restaurant. Mexico is a country that is very close to Tucson. Apparently they have food. It's good. Some of it comes with sour cream. Also, they have mariachi men who sing songs accompanied by a trumpet. They also wear cool pants, which Team Power Love will be stealing.

Here's a Target. This is a store. They sell clothes and shoes and makeup and lotions and shoes and clothes and lotions and shoes. Also, shoes. Maybe you've heard of this store.

This is my cool ass ride. This week I pretended I was an 80-year old man driving to the golf course. This car helped me become one with the role.

Coffeehouse. Epic. No, really, it's called Epic. That dude sitting outside there--he kept yelping, "Go!" "Go!" I think he was either trying to get rid of people, or maybe he was sending me off with encouragement for my next ride. I'm gonna go with the latter.

Someone gets it. Click on the pic to make it bigger so you can read it. This made me cry. And also, it made realize that dude camp was really human camp.

23 February 2007

Dude Camp, Day Four

Today was what is called in cycling terms, "Sucking Shit." Sucking Shit is a phenomenon that occurs when one's legs refuse to turn over and one's feet feel as though they are covered with wet towels and cement. It's an unfortunate occurrence. It is especially unfortunate when the people you are riding with say things like, "God, I feel great today!" and "I am ready to Hammer." Hammering is the exact opposite of Sucking Shit. When you are Sucking Shit, you should eat Doritos and drink Coke and you should take pictures of people while they are Hammering.

Here is an example of dudes Hammering into the wind. It was a really strong wind. The wind must've been pissed about something. I was in the car. Being in the car did not suck.

Then it rained. Raining while bike riding is called Massive Double Sucking. It is a horrible phenomenon and you don't want to experience it. When it rains and the temperature drops to 45 degrees, that's a phenomenon called "Chicago."
Here's what the dudes are saying in this picture:
"Hmmm. Sitting still sucks."
"Yeah. Sitting still in the rain really sucks."
"Yeah. Hey--did anyone see Kim's new cassette?"
"Yeah. It's awesome. That whole bike is awesome."

The dudes are smart.

22 February 2007

Dude Camp, Day Three
The Day of Recovery

Today, Her Highness of Cannondale got some new jewelry. Look how clean that cassette is. Everyone at camp is totally excited for Her Majesty and it's all everyone is talking about. "How's that cassette?" "Ohmygod, look at that cassette!" "Wow! That cassette looks soooo good! It, like, makes her look ten pounds lighter!" The dudes at Camp Dude talk mostly in exclamations.

This is Chris. He is an expert mechanic and a coffee expert. Here we see his answer to my question, "Hey, Chris, did you know Her Majesty has a new cassette? Doesn't it look so hot?" (FYI: Chris installed the cassette so the cassette joke got old fast. Except to me. To me it is the funniest joke ever. Besides calling up someone and asking, "Is your refrigerator running? Well, you better go catch it!" That's really the all-time best joke ever.)

After the ride, it was off to Old Tucson. Old Tucson is where they film movies and serve cotton candy for $400. They also have ice cream. The chocolate ice cream is called "Six Gun Salute Chocolate."

Not to get all PETA out or anything, but I was philosophically opposed to the selling of this fur. Not because it's an animal's winter coat and the animal probably needs it more than we do, but because it's ARIZONA and it was 70 DEGREES today.

So, I went to the lawyer to file my claim. I intended to sue Old Tucson for mental damage.

"Damage?" said the lawyer. "I'll show you damage." We went to the cemetary.

And the church.

And the schoolroom with the hidden speakers with voices of children spelling weird words and a teacher teaching them. Did they have hidden speakers in Old Tucson days? I didn't think so, so I decided to file another suit against Old Tucson for double mental damage.

The lawyer escorted me over to the Sheriff who showed me to my new accommodations. They keep telling me they don't know what "bail" is.

Here's what I'm daydreaming about while I await my "bail."

21 February 2007

Dude Camp, Day Two

Lesson of the day: If you are climbing up one side of a mountain pass and that pass is like a 300% grade, you do not want to be in your big ring while you're climbing. It's like trying to carry a moose up the stairs of the Sears Tower. Not that I would know this from direct experience, the big ring thing, not the moose thing, I'm just saying it will really hurt and you will wonder why you are going so slow and the people around will give you weird looks but probably not say anything until one of the people around you says, "Um, did you want to be in your big ring?" And then you will have to come up with some story like, "Um, yes, I did want to be in my big ring, what is this, wussy camp? NO! It's dude camp where we're riding bikes! Be a dude, dude!"

Cast of Characters:

Adam--President, person you want to talk to when you are the only girl at dude camp and you have to go to the bathroom and there's nothing but desert for miles.

Steve--Best wheel in the world.


Obligatory dude picture.

See that dip in the background? It's a serious climb. That's where we rode. And by "we" I mean "they." Her Highness and I hitched a ride up this thing because it's a mountain. A MOUNTAIN. Her Highness and I see no reason to climb a mountain as there is no other time we will be climbing mountains except during dude camp. Besides, the car had the food.

But guess what? An uphill backwards is a downhill and what a thrill ride the downhill was. Fuck yeah.

Dude Camp, Day One

Today at Dude Camp we rode bikes.

This is where we rode our bikes. I know, SUH-WEET! There were also a lot of climbs, but I can't climb and take pictures. I can barely climb and breathe, you know.

Cacti. Everywhere. They're pointy. And thirsty.

The obligatory dudes-on-bikes picture.

Apparently there are cattle just roaming around these lands as though they've been here forever and they own the place. Please note that gorgeous bicycle on top of the car. God, is there anything more beautiful than that bike? No. No there is not.

19 February 2007

CRASH STORIES posted on Cracked Black Pepper. Hooray for fiction!

Team Power Love Goes A-Travelin'

Chicago. This image hasn't been beaten to death. Not at all.

Vegas, baby.

Apparently, in Vegas, they keep their humans in glass cases.

Tucson. Where are the cacti?

18 February 2007

This ice is surreptitiously eeking its way toward my apartment. I engaged it in a mighty sword fight yesterday, but how long can I hold it off? It appears to have a siege mentality.
Yeah, you know what? Peace out, ice. I'm outta here.

17 February 2007

These people. I mean, just look at them. They're beautiful. Geez.

15 February 2007

Today's Winner, Best Quote on the Interwebnets:

I don't have a gold lamé evening dress lifestyle.

This is what to wear when you want to project hard-core professionalism and an innate sense of customer service:

12 February 2007


11 February 2007

We can do this.

09 February 2007

How to Get Rid of Annoying Guy

Recently, I was hired by KIMTINI Publications (Yes! The KIMTINI Publications!) to do a freelance pictography and travelogue on biking in Tucson, Arizona. So, I had to buy a suitcase. I did so. The suitcase is a roller suitcase. It has multiple zippers. While traversing the Loop with the suitcase, I ran into a man. He was tall. He smelled like he was exuding Altoids from his pores. He appeared oblivious to the subarctic, crack-your-frontal-lobe temperature. This was our conversation:
Man: Got yerself a suitcase?
Me: Yes.
Man: It's bright.
Me: It's orange.
Man: Goin on a trip?
Me: Not right now.
Man: Goin to work?
Me: Nope.
Man: Bringin sumpin to a friend?
Me: Nope.
Man: Then what the hell ya got in yer suitcase?
Me: My daughter.
At this point the man initiated a conversation with a newspaper box.

(Power Love Legal Team Disclaimer: No daughters were suitcased in the writing of this post.)

08 February 2007

What I Would Do If I Didn't Have a Job
1. Write an 800-word treatise to the writers of "Lost" wherein I would explain the importance of moving a story forward and the annoyance of female characters who are one second kicking ass and the next second screaming in panic like wuss ass wussassifers.
2. Write an 800-word treatise to the City of Chicago wherein I would explain why the Department of Streets and Sanitation should scrape the ice off my car and warm it up by remote control and not steal or mess up any part of the car therein. Part Two would be a clause stating how this is perfectly reasonable since I pay taxes. Part Three would state, "Dammit."
3. Hang out at Target.
4. Go bankrupt.
5. Show up at my friends' workplaces and under my breath say things like, "Sucka workin for the man," and "Show me the money! Your money! I need coffee!"
6. Eat Ramen Noodles, various flavors.
7. Stand outside The Dressing Room and drool.
8. Drink. Not coffee.
9. Call my friends at their workplaces and repeat #5.
10. Sleep.

07 February 2007

. . . reflections of . . .

06 February 2007


It would suck so bad to be a pigeon in Chicago right now.

01 February 2007

Ever been so in love you can't speak? Me too.

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