Power Love

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28 December 2007


Did you know there are hotels made entirely of ice? They're called ice hotels. Yes. There's one in Sweden and another in Quebec. I know this because I did a little research on ice hotels and I found out some interesting facts, including: The hotel bar in the Sweden ice hotel is made of ice (the actual bar is actually made of ice) and they serve Absolut in ice glasses, which are glasses made of ice. I do not know if you need ice cubes in your ice glasses.

Another fact: Ice hotels have front desks made of ice, called ice desks. And there is also furniture made of ice, called ice furniture. Besides possessing an enviable flair for apt nomenclature, ice hotels are also cold. Usually in the low 20-degree Fahrenheit neighborhood, and in this way, your accommodations don't melt.

This is all very useful information because as a Chicagoan in Chicago in the dead of winter, there is nothing more intriguing than reading about cold things. As alert Power Love readers know, however, winter in Chicago only lasts 10 of 12 months every year and those other 2 months are like a sauna and so, if you were bitten by the entrepreneurial spirit like I am on a daily basis, you would probably say to yourself: "Self, I have just been bitten by an idea. Or possibly a spider. In the event the spider was not a raging pusball of germed out disease, I should open my own hotel here in Chicago, but instead of an ice hotel, I should open a salami hotel."

Well, I can see where you're going with this, sisters and brothers of Idealand, and I am with you. A salami hotel would serve the people of our fair city well--you could have a salami front desk, a salami couch in the salami lobby, salami glasses holding salami martinis in the salami bar. The possibilities are endless. You might also consider sesame crackers and blocks of cheese to scatter about because salami eaters can eat and you don't want to be the one to tell them there's no cheese. Trust me on this one.

If you, like me, have a potpourri of vegantastic pals, you could also construct a tofu hotel. These might not hold up too well, though, as tofu needs to be drained. Make sure you do your homework before hiring a tofu hotel contractor.

In conclusion, the idea of salami hotels is just one of the millions of fascinating ideas that will come to me during this period that many call "winter," but which I prefer to call, The Season of the Voices in My Head and How I Befriend Them.


Sexuality is simple, I find.

25 December 2007

Where's dinner?



Winner: Best Calendar Entry for Retirement Day Award

New Beginning. Check.

22 December 2007



You know what this world hasn't seen enough of? Year end/Best of lists! It's like, there aren't enough Christmas carols playing, there aren't enough pine trees with lights on them, and there aren't enough year-end lists. As every alert Power Love reader knows, Team Power Love is all about social consciousness and public service, so in the interest of the obvious lack of year-end lists, we are here to give you our year-end list.

This year's Team Power Love year-end list is the 10 best concerts that ever happened inside my own head.

1. The first best concert that happened inside my head was the label kick off night for the We Are Better Than You Music Consortium label. This is where the world was introduced to two new best bands ever: Compendium of Vituperation and Mrs. Winchester's Windows.

Compendium of Vituperation is a math rock rock band that really rocks. And, they play the abacus. And they also know exactly how much to tip their servers at the end of the night without using a calculator. Or an abacus! It's amazing. Likes: heavy bass and loud screaming. Dislikes: pie making.

Mrs. Winchester's Windows, named after the stained glass windows in the Winchester mansion, is an atmospheric pop band from Tucson, Arizona. They wear a lot of jade. And if you're not watching them, you would think maybe that sound is coming from that old fan that someone forgot to turn off. But they rule, because they cover b-sides of Devo and they do a rockin cover of "Freebird."

2. The second best concert of the year was when I played drums on "Intolerance" at the Tool concert. Right now you should go to your favorite musical interwebnets station and look up "Intolerance" and then listen to it. Or, maybe wait until you're in a quiet room with people who need some quiet time, and then turn up the volume to 11 and voila! You will have a room full of instant friends!

Anyway, maybe you missed my debut as Tool's drummer, but I so rocked that shit, it was amazing. Unfortunately, the concert was going on in my head, while I was on the Brown Line, during morning rush hour and it was crowded and the woman sitting next to me was drinking coffee, but she kept taking the lid off because apparently it was hot and she had to blow on it, which unfortunately happened regularly and on every fourth beat and during that one part of the song, the particularly bang-the-shit-outta-the-snare part of the song, I accidentally unknowingly oopsily banged my air sticks on my air drums, which was really just me banging my arms on the backpack on my lap and guess what?

Well, if you ask me--yes, I do think coffee has a lovely aroma and what, really, is the problem with being covered in it for the day? I mean, sheesh, some people pay good money to smell like that.

And so those were the 10 best concerts of the year. Stayed tuned for yet another startlingly interesting post tomorrow: Christmas Day--Live Blogging!

19 December 2007


07 December 2007


I'm telling stories all weekend. Come out and join me!

1. Naughty or Vice show
Fri. 12/7 -- Sun. 12/9
7pm -- 8pm each night
1935 1/2 North Ave
$5 suggested

2. 2nd Story monthly
Sun. 12/9
7:00 doors
7:30 stories

During the festival of dudes yesterday, also known as a conversation with lovely humans all of whom happened to be male, a picture of the gorgeousest puppy that ever lived showed up on the computer screen around which we were standing. I, in my infinite wisdom and with great professionalism, said, "Ohmygod, what a cute pupperlupperdupperdo! He's soooo cute!" And I did so in the kind of voice you'd use to try to coax a baby to eat that disgusting looking green mash that says "zucchini" on the jar but looks more like pureed snot.

After my insightful comment, I looked around and realized everyone was staring at me and this is because talking to dudes about soft, cute, fuzzy puppies will inevitably win you a bouquet of blank stares followed by a series of looks that will make you wonder if your hair is covered in orange marmalade.

Thusforth, in Team Power Love's continuing pursuit of academic excellence and tireless devotion to public service, we initiated a refined research project for the purpose of delineating other conversation starters to employ, should you wish to elicit the I'm-obviously-somewhere-else-not-listening-to-you-but-can't-help-staring-at-you-as-though-you've-lost-your-mind look. Those conversation starters are as follows:

1. "Well, when I get my period, I can't use tampons because . . . "
2. "I can't figure out if these t-straps make me look stumpy. Do you think . . ."
3. "The other day, on Oprah . . . "

These conversation starters are also available in hard copy. Just send $5 for shipping and handling to Team Power Love HQ.


I think Hillary Clinton's campaign song should be "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," and I think they should get Prince to do a cover of it. I think at the unveiling ceremony where Hillary talks about her potential presidency and then says, "And here's my campaign song," Prince should walk out in his assless chaps and rock the fuck out of that Cyndi Lauper song.

That whole scenario just reeks of presidential competency. Obviously, this is why I'm a top-tier political strategist.

05 December 2007


1. It sounds to me like the bass line in Spoon's "Don't You Evah" is similar to the bass line in Prince's "Erotic City," but I can't verify this because: 1.) I can't find "Erotic City" on the interwebnets right now because the browser I'm using is a member of the Christian Coalition and will not acknowledge the word erotic; and 2.) I know just about one-half of nothing about the path a bass takes through a song and so it's possible that everyone already knows that every song ever created has the same bass line as "Erotic City," which would make "Erotic City" the mother of all songs, which would be the awesomest musical discovery ever.

2. The woman who sells Streetwise in my neighborhood has the exact same winter coat that I do, except hers has all the buttons present and accounted for and mine does not.

3. The first snowfall of this year is just like the first snowfall of last year, so it's a good thing everyone freaks out while being out in it because we wouldn't want to do anything crazy, like, say, prepare for it.

02 December 2007


The fine folks at Toasted Cheese have published "Hero."