Power Love

Your definitive resource. That's all, just your definitive resource.

30 May 2007

They say when you are sick you should rest, but I suspect that that "they" is also the they that says you should drink lots of water and get eight hours of sleep each night and are we really going to believe that? I mean, really. It's like the advice that can be categorized under the Eat Green Vegetables topic, which I think we can all agree, does not really work, unless you are looking to alienate your friends by gassing them out of the room.

The best part of being sick when it's 80 degrees outside is that you experience that suffering and dehydrating delusion-of-oasis-in-the-desert syndrome. So far I have won the team time trial in the Tour de France. Here we are now, my team:

Except my team is not men, we are not on CSC, and we don't have the yellow jersey, but only because we are waiting for the Pyrenees where we will pounce like mountain goats--no!--mountain lions on the rest of the peloton and then it is, as the French say, adios to you, suckers! My team and I are going to win sans doping, which rules, until someone bans caffeine, at which point, I will be totally screwed, but then I will claim ignorance and sue Coca-Cola and Intelligensia coffee and make a bazillion gazillion dollars (physical and mental stress) and then I will dump all that moola into a nonprofit organization that teaches the world to love writing and reading and the only books we will read will be my handmade books with my own stories and I will not address questions from the press about how self-serving that is because I will be too busy trying to find a factory in India that will make my handmade books for me. And also, apparently, in my daydreams, the Tour has been moved from July to June. You should start training right now.

But back to my bathroom--which has evidently decided to redecorate itself in my absence as the Person Who Cleans The Bathroom, a title I once held but was demoted from when I gave up cleaning in lieu of life, which does not allow much time for the trivial, of which bathroom cleaning is.

Currently, my bathroom is decorated in colors that do not look natural, but is porcelain natural? I argue, no. It cannot possibly be, though possibly it's a mineral, but are minerals really natural? I argue, no. Despite evidence to the contrary because I have a rock the size of a weeping willow in my stomach and it's making me tired and delusional and occassionally despotic, which is unfortunate, since I have no country to rule paranoidly.

Anyway, the bathroom has taken on a life of its own, so I had to go in there yesterday and wage war. I do not want a bathroom in shady colors that I can't quite name. There is no Shady Colored Bathroom crayon in the Crayola box of 64 colored crayons, at least I don't think so, and the fact that I keep the lights low in there to avoid really looking at anything too closely does not mean my bathroom can go willy nilly into the field of self decoration.

So, I cleaned the bathtub, which is now white and rather frightening, and also the sink, which is also white and rather frightening and now it all smells clean, which is also weird, but clean doesn't really smell white, it smells more yellow, though in relation to a bathroom, probably sounds gross, like pee, but I don't mean yellow pee, I mean canary yellow, like happy chicks at Easter and also, I think my teeth are too yellow, but I don't want to use those teeth strips because they feel weird and fuzzy when I use them, nor do I want to stop drinking coffee because how will I win the team time trial at the Tour without doping on caffeine and without that win, there will be no handmade books and life as we know it will end because reading will die and without reading, your life will suck so bad you won't know what to do with yourself, so it's a good thing I'm thinking of you now, even though I'm sick. And this is why I am going to win the Best Saint Ever Award.

29 May 2007

Is that a cougar on your rooftop or are you just happy to see me?

The sun wasn't out, these people are just naturally dappled in sunshine.

Jeff: I think we should take over the world.
Kim: I do, too.
Jeff: I think we should do it through the power of the written word and compassion for others.
Kim: I think we should do it by drinking all the alcohol there is and leaving everybody else parched.
Jeff: Good idea. You rule.

Who am I?

28 May 2007

What's going on at the Buddhist temple on Ashland? The monks were outside, hanging flags and these beautiful colored balls and just generally making a lovely building look lovelier.

You can't really tell in these pictures because as it turns out, taking pictures while driving is not really all that easy and I dare say, probably not all too safe.

Also, I was trying to wave. That didn't turn out to well, either. But hello, Buddhists! Your home looks beautiful!

26 May 2007


21 May 2007


Sunday's Itinerary:
1. Go to Jeff's and listen to his awesome story that was read ALOUD ON NPR BY A REAL LIVE ACTOR. Yes! NPR! That NPR! Jeff is a WRITER and a SERVER OF CHAMPAGNE.

[No picture was available of the champagne due to legal restrictions; no picture was available of the cheese, either, because it was soaked in red wine and it was so drunk it could barely stand. Drunk cheese--not pretty.]

2. Decide, after multiple servings of the aforementioned champagne and cheese, that a cheerleader pyramid is really the only way to celebrate the post-party moment. There is nothing that says STORY ON NPR than a cheerleader pyramid.

However, the cheerleader pyramid didn't quite materialize. But we did get a group picture wherein Danny is churning imaginary butter.

3. Eat food made out of cardboard and sculpted to look like potatoes.

4. Go to the NO TOUCHING launch party of the Danger Issue at Danny's. Take picture of Damen because what else are you going to do when you are running late for the reading that you are reading at?

5. Danny's: the before picture.

(Before Jeff went outside and proclaimed, "Hey! World! Kim Morris is reading 'Crash Stories' tonight!" Or else maybe he said, "Hey! World! Round of drinks on me!")

6. It worked.

7. The Predictors of the Future contemplate their magic napkins.

8. I am going to have 4 kiwis in my future, a view of the city dump, and Brad Pitt. I will be so rock star, my hair will catch on fire.

20 May 2007


Carroll County, IL, is known for its annual festival wherein biker riders from the Chicagoland area show up and ride their bikes through the roads and make jokes and laugh and end up having heart-to-heart conversations with cows.

Here are the cows. They are lifelong Team Power Love supporters and we are very happy to see them out and cheering for us this early in the season.

This road looks pretty, no? As you ride it, though, it turns a bit to the left and gradually rises and then before you know it, you are stuck in the jaw of a demon zombie with teeth as big as a buffalo and as sharp as pitchforks. Then, just when you think you made it to the flats on the other side and you are snickering to yourself ("Sucker hills, think you can get the best of me? HA!"), you are suddenly climbing yet another hill, called innocuously enough, "Apple Tree Hill." Or something like that. Maybe it's "Apple Bottom Hill"? Whatever. It's neither apple-y nor a hill. Hills are things you can climb up. This thing is so steep it actually goes upside down. I am not making this up. It has a gradient of 56%. For reference, if you were to ride your bike up the side of the Sears Tower, you would be climbing a 52% grade. So, Apple Tree Hill is really Barf Hill and the way to get up it on the bike is to lean way over your bars and make friends with your front tire. Or, you could just take another road and not ride that hill at all, but no one was listening to me.

We stopped at the bar. I'm sure you can understand why. There were no 56% grades in the bar.

The last sign before the end of the ride. It is not the name of a town. It is the name of a state of being because not many people make it out of killer hill territory alive.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is your 2008 Olympic cycling team! It is a strict diet of Doritos and beer that got these amazing athletes to where they're at today.

Apres bike activities included celebrating Jason I-Bridged-To-Mark-Schwarzendruber-At-Monsters-And-Took-Second Meshberg's birthday. Finally, he's 21. Good thing, too, since I was getting really tired of buying beer for him all the time.

Here's Jason and Max having a very important discussion on the porch. What are they saying? Well, dear Power Love readers, we have at our disposal here in PLHQ top secret eavesdropping equipment so we can tell you what they are saying! If the government can do it, so can we.

Jason: I like beer. Also, I rock on the bike.
Max: Beer. Eh. I rock on the bike too.
Jason: We both do.
Max: Exactly.
Jason: Do you ever find it creepy that sometimes we talk the way Kim thinks we talk?
Max: Yes. Yes I do.

These people ride bikes quickly and in straight lines. Also, they are funny and smart. And best of all, they let me hang out with them. Awesome.

Life lessons from the car wash in Dixon, IL:

18 May 2007


The purpose of this picture was to highlight the oddity of a billboard that proclaims how great it is to eat chicken burritos with chickens that are raised in Chicago. Because apparently Chicago chickens are fresh! Except when you mistake a pigeon for a chicken. Then you have fresh pigeon burritos. Yum!
However, you can't read the billboard because the windshield of someone's car is a wee bit dirty. Or is it raining? No, that's a dirty windshield.

Hello! Molly and I are out on the town! Hello!

Are you alive? If you are, you should be thankful. Know why? Because


Yes! There are, like, forty people on that stage. And they are playing marching band music. And they are rockin the shit out of it.

Yes! This is the quickest way to make the people around you happy. It's kinda like when you go to the lake and watch a fireworks show in the middle of the summer and there are amazing colors blowing up in the sky and, if it's the XRT fireworks show, music that accompanies the amazing colors, and when it gets to the end you wonder if they're gonna make an American flag out of fireworks for the big finale and you can't get over how awesome it is to be outside at 10pm in a short sleeve shirt and still be warm and everyone around you is feeling that happy-to-be-in-Chicago-in-summer feeling.

Yes! That's what a Mucca Pazza show is like, except, instead of fireworks, there's marching band music. And instead of amazing colors, there are dozens of horned instruments that look like they are dancing with their humans. And instead of sitting there wondering if the American flag is gonna show up, you turn to your friend at the end of the night and your mouth is hanging open and you are speechless but you do manage to get out, "Holy shit. Those people just did that."

16 May 2007

What's wrong with this picture?

A. It should be punctuated, "There is an old Venezuelan saying, 'If you don't win, you're a loser.'"

B. It hangs in the Clinton stop of the Blue Line, which takes so long to arrive that even the most mediocre editor can walk around for hours and notice grammatical and/or punctuation errors in signs, which is ridiculous because I could walk home on my hands in less time than that and probably figure out a cure for AIDS while I was doing it, but instead I'm waiting around for CTA to get its shit together, which is as fun as watching paint dry, though not as practical, and every minute that goes by while I wait in that cavernous stop I die a little death and how much shorter is my life gonna be with all these little deaths and at what point do I hire an attorney so that I can sue CTA for conspiracy to commit murder?

15 May 2007

Read this. Cool. Scroll down to the pics. Do you know that woman in the first pic? She kinda has a really big forehead.

(Thanks for the link, Mollie!)

One of these days, Team Power Love is going to find the yellow brick road.

This isn't it.

But we suspect it's the exit ramp to it.

11 May 2007



Come on out and hear stories and drink wine and if you fill out a survey, you will get a cool button that says, “Hear Wine Drink Story” and you cannot possibly beat that.

I’ll be telling a brand new story, which was written weeks ago, but has been rewritten so many times, it’s kinda like it's brand new today. So look out, world!

Also, Sam Weller will be reading!! Sam is one of my all-time favorite writers and also, if you ever find yourself in grad school for creative writing, and you end up in an advanced fiction class, and Sam is there with you, you are going to have the best time ever.


09 May 2007


08 May 2007

CHICAGO--Emergency personnel were called to Team Power Love Headquarters this evening after neighbors heard a loud howl followed by a dull thud. Upon entering PLHQ, police found a collapsed person clad in obnoxiously colored lycra, clutching a road bike, muttering nonsensical nonsense. Reports indicated the collapsed person is a practicing bike racer, known for training inside for 1.5 hours per day. When asked about the cause of the disaster, Police Chief Wiggam said, "Seems there were no more videos to watch. Lack of Billy Idol videos can kill a person, so we're happy we had only to deal with unconsciousness."

07 May 2007


02 May 2007



Now, after watching that, perhaps you are thinking, "Damn! I sure do not yet have my fill of bike messenger stuff, I wish I could get more!"


Perhaps you are also thinking, "Damn! What would've happened if one of those dudes crashed? I wish I could find out!"


Perhaps maybe also you are thinking, "Damn! I wish I could hear all about crashing bike messengers while drinking wine and hearing other stories that are not about crashing bike messengers!"


I have the answers for you--they are all in one place: HERE. Go on May 5th! It will be great fun! If you are wondering if you should go because you've never gone to something like this before and you don't know if you'll have fun or feel awkward or have a place to sit--YOU CAN!! Come on over and I WILL SIT WITH YOU! I WILL DRINK WINE WITH YOU!


01 May 2007

CHICAGO--On this sunny and 70 degree day, everyone in this midwestern city was out and about, including the skyline. "Well," said the skyline, "I just wanted to get out in the sun, work on the tan. Summer is coming, you know, don't want to be all pasty and sick looking."

The Chicago skyline is known throughout the galaxy as one of the most beautiful sights to be seen. Hopeful entities from as far away as planets we don't have names for come to gaze upon the hypnotic beauty of Chicago's skyline. As such, the skyline has become a role model for inanimate objects.

When asked about the message it was sending, sun bathing like it was, the skyline replied, "I have to look my best. It's part of my job. Did you know we need at least 20 minutes of sun a day? Vitamin D, you know."

The editors would like to point out that vitamin D is a mineral usually most healthful for animate beings. But who are we to judge.